For Aunt Terry

The following is the eulogy I delivered at our beloved Aunt Terry’s memorial on October 20, 2018.

One of my first memories of Aunt Terry is when she invited me to attend a period of the elementary math class she taught. I was seven years old. My parents, my brother, and I were out visiting Buffalo from Arizona. I remember being nervous when she brought me into her classroom. I didn’t know any of the other kids. I wasn’t sure if I was really that good at math. I hoped more than anything that day I would be smart enough and good enough in class to make my Aunt Terry proud. What I didn’t realize then was that she would always be proud of me and always think of me as best in class, whether I was in her classroom or anywhere else, for the rest of my life.

Aunt Terry truly believed in the potential and goodness inside of every human being, which is one of the reasons she was such a phenomenal teacher and such a phenomenal person. This was reflected not only in her classroom, but in the way she approached the world. She was quick with a smile and welcoming to all. She laughed often and wasn’t one to hold a grudge. There was time in my twenties where I was gone a lot and didn’t visit much. But every time I came back to Buffalo to see Aunt Terry, it was the same as if I had been there just the week before: she was happy to see me, ready to welcome me with a big hug, a kiss, and ready to go out to dinner at the latest, greatest Buffalo restaurant she had found.

When I moved to Columbus nearly five years ago, I was within a day’s drive of Buffalo for the first time in my life. I took advantage of the short distance to visit Aunt Terry whenever I could. I was so grateful to be able to bring Basil to meet her when we first started dating. I was so thankful to finally be able to spend holidays and birthdays with one another easily after decades of being far apart. I was so thankful she could be there on our wedding day. Basil and I wanted to be able to do nice things for her and take care of her for years to come, as she had spent so many years doing nice things for and taking care of other people.

I have long believed time is the biggest gift we can give each other. Having lost our beloved Aunt Terry so much earlier than we should have, this idea is driven home once again: the moments we got to spend together are precious gifts we will carry with us always.

As many of you know, Aunt Terry loved the Hallmark Channel. Although I myself am not a regular viewer, ever since she passed away, I have been turning it on when I can in order to bring myself some comfort. Part of me has been hoping watching these movies where everything manages to always end happily ever after will give me some clue as to how to deal with life without one of the people I love the most in it.

But I am certain Aunt Terry would want us to believe there is still joy, beauty, fun, and even some happy endings in this world, even if she has moved beyond it. We will have to be strong, as she was, be resilient, as she was, and love without reserve, as she did.

Thank you so much to everyone who joined us today to honor her memory. And to Aunt Terry: we love you, we miss you, and we will hold you in our hearts always.